unorganized thoughts.

As my family lay in bed sleeping Im still wide awake why? because Im leaving my baby boy for the first time, and its not just  going to be for  a couple of hours Im going to be gone for 4 nights 5 days ARGG are you kidding me, I am leaving my baby that long so Zach, Saige and I can enjoy a nice vacation with the rest of Zach's siblings and parents and the two older nieces,  why did I choose to leave him home, because I know why, I prayed about this I really did, and I had a peaceful feeling to leave him with my beloved little sister, she will take just great care of him and she loves him like he is her own, he will NOT have FUN on a BOAT all the time, its like he can swim because he is not potty trained what a dumb rule babies who are not potty trained can not swim, so right there he would of been miserable,  and we know miserable baby equals miserable mommy, I KNOW we are all going to come back safe and sound and that my little baby will be so happy to see me and remember that Iam his mom not my sister who we call "auntie" and im sure he will follow me around like a lost puppy dog and you know what Im okay with that, I think I have worried my self sick because I have had this nasty cold for the past 3 days, just go away cold  so I can at least try and enjoy my vacation that I havent had in a couple of years. So bubba please dont forget your mommy I WILL BE BACK IN 5 DAYS, enjoy your special time with auntie cause I know sissy will enjoy her special time with mommy and daddy, and I promise you, we will have our specail time, mommy and daddy will just take you some where fun and special.
Im going to try and get shut eye and think about the fun time we are about  to have.. it will be so nice to get away on vacation, I will not have to cook, clean,do laundy (gag) or anything else but get pampered for that matter, hey maybe I will come back with a tan, now that would be nice... oh how joyful this is going to be..


p.s. dear me, I dont understand how moms or dads can neglect there children just leaving bubba for a couple of days im having a heart attack about, but neglecting a child or abusing the innocent sweet angle how dare those parents, kids our spiritual special gifts to us as adults we need to treat them that way.. I know I hold me children close to my heart.. and I will NEVER EVER do anything to them to make them not feel safe..