I have been thinking ALOT about my appearence lets face it its taking over my mind, why am I feeling so negativly about my self? I do not know, I heard somewhere to write down a person you dont like and 10 things why you dont like them and then write down some one you like and 10 things why you like them, then read the list and that is YOU... you look at someone and say "crap I dont like them cause the are so skinny," or "she has a big nose" and those are the traits you dont like about yourself, interesting yes.... I have been feeling so down in the dumps about the way I look the way I dress, my hair, my make-up I do have good days where I feel really pretty and okay in my skin, I do not know if its from moving and the change, Im working out a couple times a week, when I work our for a week straight im the type of person that wants to see results right then and there and if I dont then I figure its not working, but I do need to give it time, I love my life, my kids, my husband, but iam not happy with the way I LOOK I need to change that but how? I dont know... how do I get comfortable in my own skin, my body will never be a size 2 again like it was in highschool I have had kids, girls who are super skinny after child birth are lucky... Maybe I just need to not care anymore and be happy with the way god made me.. I HATE getting my picture taken HATE it... so I try to avoid it at all costs, Im always putting myself down, and Zach really hates it but this time I can really start seeing what it is starting to do to my self esteem, and my posture I dont stand up straight with courage I more like slouch with disappointment... I need to get out of this funk and enjoy myself, Im healthy my kids are healthy my husband is healthy, I have a great relationship with my family... I have 2 working hands and 2 working legs, ears to hear, eyes to see..
Maybe I need to work on my relationship with my father in heaven... Im going to try this and see if this helps me get out of the dumps...
5.06.2010
Gross feeling....
Posted by Ashlee Salisbury at 5/06/2010 05:55:00 PM
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8 comments:
I know it might not help, but (and I am more serious than I can explain) I think you are a babe.
and if you ever want to have a makeup date...I will drive down to spend the night with you. ;D
Ash...that is so sad. You are beautiful....like, seriously beautiful. But I totally get what you're saying. And I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE that when you put Heavenly Father first and foremost in your life (reading your scriptures, praying...daily) then you will have a 'boost'. It's weird how spiritually feeding ourselves can make the temporal things so much better and easier to handle.
If you want I can schedule a M.A.C. makeover thing at Ceasers Palace and then I can get you my discount on some makeup!
Wub you.
I completely agree with the previous two comments, but at the same time, I've been feeling the exact. same. way lately. Exactly. And I'm struggling to figure it all out. But I think you and Chante are right. The first step to take will be to work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
Thanks for the reminder. :) And for not being afraid to share your personal feelings. It can be hard to let ourselves be that vulnerable. But you're awesome! Just remember that!
Ash, I think we all go through this stage from time to time as women. I know you and I have already talked about this but it is hard when others brag after having a baby about how little they gained, how fast they lost it all, or just how fast they got back into out jeans. I decided I needed to stop listening to those comments. I finally feel I started to stop comparing when my little sister had her baby and she came to visit when she was two months old. When I saw her I almost cried because I was so jealous of how great she looked. I didn't say anything about it to her accept how good she looked. The more I got talking to her she voiced how much she hated her new body (no butt, too skinny to fit her jeans) and her stomach. I couldn't believe my ears. It was then I realized that this demon inside of us is never satisfied and that we can't compare ourselves. We also should try not to complain about ourselves because someone always is listening and may have it worse then you. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. You are beautiful aside from what you think and from who you compare yourself with. In high school I would complain about certain things about myself, and now I look back and wish I had that body again. I was Hot!! Ha ha no really though I wish I would have stopped and appreciated what I had. So my advice is to try and appreciate and love what you have right now because to be honest we are dying everyday a little bit more, so our bodies are not going to get better. We need to just try and be healthy and do the best we can then sit back and love who we are. Definitely don't lister to those around you who like to brag about themselves. They are probably insecure themselves for all we know :) Love your beautiful face Ash.
Everyone is right. You are beautiful and I love ya!!
I think you totally hit it on the head in the last sentence. You are a mother, wife, friend, etc. You are so important to your Father in Heaven. If you could only feel how much He loves you!
Here is the deal, we all think the adversary works on us with alcohol, immorality, yada yada. However, we tend to overlook his MOST cunning and sadly most successful tools. Discouragement, self-hate, a feeling of not being enough....etc.
I have struggled with my weight for 12 years. I tell myself all the time that if I could just get that under control I would be unstoppable. But here is the deal. Satan wants me to believe that I am not enough because of my appearance. He is wrong! I have an amazing friend that said something that totally changed me.
She said, "Amy, you worry about what other people think too much. If you think you are not enough, it is only because YOU feel others think that because of the way you look. However, that is not true. Sure there may be some people that will see you and judge you as they pass you on the street, but if they only spent 10 sec with you they would see that you are an amazing mom, wife, friend, etc. It's their loss if they don't choose to see that in you."
That's when I decided to start putting more focus on what I WAS instead of what I WASN'T. Beauty only really comes from the inside. When you allow yourself to focus on and love what makes you you, your eyes will see what the rest of us already see.
You are beautiful, loving, fun, thoughtful, an amazing Mom, the perfect wife for Zach, A DAUGHTER OF GOD! When you get that, who you see in the mirror will change!
I totally struggle from time to time, but I love who I am, and I remind myself that when I start to pick myself apart. Don't be afraid to look in the mirror and say, "DANG! I am looking HOT!" :) hahaha! Nothing like a little vanity to make you laugh! :)
Stop telling yourself all the things you aren't and focus on who you are. You don't have to change a thing physically for your vision of yourself to change! And ironically, I have found that the only time I can change anything on the outside is when I am loving myself! Otherwise, it is frustrating and hopeless.
PHEW! How is this for the longest comment EVER! Maybe I should just post about it! :)
Well I think you are Beautiful!! In Fact when I saw you yesterday in Church I thought...Wow! she looks good, And Happy! Sometimes I think the thing that make us negative toward ourselves is simply LIFE. - Stress, worry, changes that are out of our control. I think you've gone through that a lot lately...dont let life get you down, and you wont get down on yourself. Keep saying your prayers, keep smiling and know that everyone but you (right now) thinks you are a beautiful person...inside and out! We love you Ash!
Oh Ash!! You need to be happt with yourself. I am pretty sure we all feel like this at times. You are beautiful and healthy and that should be all that matters.
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